So, sometime in June is my nine year diaversary (diabetes anniversary for those who don't know). All I can say is...holy crap.
9 years of my life with a "dead pancreas".
9 years of my life doing my blood sugar at least 4 times a day.
9 years of my life with a chronic illness that causes heart problems, kidney failure, blindness, etc.
9 years of my life explaining, answering people's questions, clarifying stereotypes.
9 years of my life.
9 years of my life!
These days, it's so hard to remember NOT being diabetic. It is so much a part of me and my life, that I can't imagine what life would be like without it.
The CDA (Canadian Diabetes Association) has this contest thing (I think...) where they ask "What would a cure mean to you?"
Before, I always thought about being able to eat whenever I want, having more freedom, that kinda thing.
But just know I realized a cure would change my entire life. Literally.
I wouldn't have to take insulin, or do my blood sugar, or count carbs, or any of it.
Anyways, I wanted to talk a bit about one of things I said up there...9 years of my life with a chronic illness that causes heart problems, kidney failure, blindness, etc.
I'm not gonna lie, this scares me.
I went to the optometrist a couple weeks ago, and they said that next year I might want to see a specialist because it's around the ten year mark that they start noticing eye complications due to diabetes.
That terrified me. I was telling my friend A about it later and almost started crying because holy crap.
It's amazing how much power words have. How the word "complications" can make your whole world seem to freeze for a minute.
Most of the time, I think I'm a good diabetic. But there are sometimes when it's hard.
I'm a teenager, so a large part of hanging out with my friends involves food. And sometimes, I forget to bolus or do my blood sugar, or I don't bolus enough and things get a little crazy.
Or sometimes I'm low in the middle of the night and I raid my fridge for 10 hunger crazed minutes.
I'm not neccessarily proud of these things, but I can't help it.
I'm not perfect, and that's perfectly fine.
This has turned into a rather long post, but I think you lovelies deserve it after my long absence.
You don't love someone because they're perfect,
you love them despite the fact they're not.
-Jodi Picoult
