New Day

Today is World Diabetes Day!

I wore my "Does this shirt make me look diabetic?" shirt today. I showed my diabetic friend, and she thought it was awesome. Some people thought it was funny. Some people were just confused.

I was given candy, pizza, and a frappuccino today. Slightly ironic.

My dad also emailed me today. Twice. And I'm ok.

The first email freaked me out. He said he wanted to come see me. I told him I don't want to see him right now. He then sent me this big long email. He says he misses me and he's sad. I don't know if I believe him anymore.

The good thing is when I got the second email, I didn't panic like I usually do. I was calm the whole time I was reading it.

I feel like I'm really moving on.

Just because you've been hurt, doesn't mean you're broken.

Good times

So I just got back from visiting M a few hours ago. 

I miss her already.

We had so much fun, I had a BLAST! We watched 3 Disney movies, suffered through the cold weather, laughed liked maniacs, and proved that even diabetics can be weird. <3

"It's weird not to be weird." - John Lennon

Clarity

For the first time in a while, I had an awesome week. I forgot about my dad for a while, and when he emailed me, I received advice from my buddy A to just...let it go. So I did.

I've been trying this new thing lately. When something upsets me, I allow myself to feel the emotion, then I calm myself down and let it go. And it works amazingly well.

Also I just wanted to send a little shout out to my girl K, who has always been there for me but who I believe doesn't get enough credit. She's the one who asks for updates on my dad, and even steers A and G back on topic when they interrupt me. She's the one with the cute clothes who knows all the coolest hairstyles. She is one of my best friends in the whole world. K, you are beautiful and I love you so much. Thank you for always being there for me.

On another note, this time tomorrow...I'LL BE WITH MY DPB, M!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And so, I happily conclude this post, feeling as though everything is falling into place. I'm getting over my pain, little by little.

A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.

Peace

I am happy.

And it's amazing.

(A quote from a previous post..."I don't know how to make myself happy.")

Well, I don't know how but I figured it out.

I am also sooooooooo excited!

1. Tomorrow I am going to Anime Evolution. That's right, I am an anime nerd, and proud of it! PLUS, I get to see T, who I haven't seen in a month. Awesome!

2. I made it through what felt like the LONGEST day ever! And I have NO HOMEWORK! Awesome!!!

3. NEXT WEEK, I shall be visiting my DPB, M, who I haven't seen since JULY! I've skyped her a few times in the past few weeks, and it's great just to hear her voice (and her laugh!) again. I CAN'T WAIT unitl I get to see her and hug her (and probably cry happy tears)!!!! AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

And as usual, I've got a magnificent quote for all you lovelies...

"The future depends on what you do today." -Ghandi

Wonder

When things got really bad there for a while, I hoped that I would receive a sign that things will be ok.

Today, I got that sign.

For the second time in my life, I saw a full rainbow.

It was amazing.

I'm gonna to be okay. In fact, I'm gonna be better than okay.

I'm gonna be better than good.

Grace

I have so many things to be grateful for today.

First of all, my lovely family, both biological and adopted. I love them all so much, and the love they return to me is overwhelming.

Secondly, my amazing friends. They are always there for me no matter what, and I am so proud to call them my friends. A special shout out to my girls A, K, and G, my support T, and my DPB M. You in five in particular have helped me get through these rough times, whether it's late night texts, hugging me while I cry, or just supporting me in my time of need, you have all made a huge impact on my life. Without you I would just fall apart.

One of the best feelings in the world is knowing you are loved, and I have known this all along thanks to my wonderful family and friends, I love them all.

I'm also thankful for a few simple things. Shelter, food, water. Being alive. Happiness.

May you all find something to be thankful for in your lives.

Silver lining

I'm starting to feel better. For a while there, everything seemed crappy, but I'm slowly getting back to my old self. For example I laughed so hard I fell to the floor today. Twice. And it was awesome. My friends have really been there for me, and I have no idea what I'd do with out them. They are my anchor to keep me from drifting away from sanity.

Also my blood sugars have been really good lately. Like seriously. I went to go see my endocrinologist (diabetes doctor) and we changed a few things on my pump and now my blood sugars are excellent! My doctor was a bit rude to me (just like last time) but I do respect what she was saying.

You know what bugs me? People asking me whether I have the "good kind" or the "bad kind" of diabetes. Sometimes I wonder how a society of people where diabetes is becoming more and more common can be so ignorant about these things. I don't blame them, I just wish there was more education on diabetes, better portrayals of diabetics on TV, that kind of thing.

To continue with my tradition of quotes...

If you're reading this...
Congratulations, you're alive.
If that's not something to smile about,
then I don't know what is


Peace, love and rock and roll!